Balancing duty and freedom

上一篇 / 下一篇  2017-05-04 18:19:53

Recently my social media account was dominated by a Guangzhou Daily news report titled, "Parents sold house to send only daughter to study abroad, only to be heartbroken when she marries overseas."

After reading the newsinstitute for tourism studies, I could not put it out of my mind for days. The parents in the story remind me of my parents and how selfless they are. They supported my studies in the UK without asking for anything in return. It also makes me think about what a healthy relationship between parents and their children should look like. What pops into my mind is one word: boundaries.

A lack of boundaries is the key problem behind many family issues, including that of the family in the article. The daughter was the center of the whole family and shouldered all the hopes and dreams that her parents wanted for themselves. When she got into a university in the US, her father reportedly said that she "finally made him proud so that he can hold his head high." Sounds pretty familiar, right?

Many Chinese parents have said something similar to their kids. Deep down in their heart, their child is not an independent and complete individual but something that belongs to them or is even part of them.

To some extentdream beauty pro, sending their child to college is like fulfilling a dream for themselves. So, it’s not hard to understand why some parents would expect their child to live their life the way they, the parents, want.

Surely, you would say that every parent loves their kid and wants their company when he or she gets old. I think it is reasonable. Filial piety is a part of the Chinese tradition. However, it cannot be used as an excuse for people to deny their offspring’s right to choose their own life. That is not love. It’s a form. of possession in the guise of love.

I still remember what my mom said when I asked whether she regretted supporting me on a life journey that takes me further and further away from home.

She said, "Your happiness and future matter the most. I will be happy for you as long as you are happy yourselfhotel manager."

This is what mature and true love is like, and I’m very grateful and lucky to have it and learn from it.

Children should be more independent too, both economically and mentally. Spending all your parents’ hard-earned money for higher education is not common in Western countries. Young people should try to be more financially independent and help relieve their parents’ burden by applying for scholarships and doing part-time jobs. Academic pursuits should be your own responsibility, not a burden to your family members. Again, the keyword here is boundaries.

Also, living far away from home doesn’t mean that you should ignore your parents. In the context of the Chinese traditional culture and social system, sons and daughters should take care of their elders and are duty-bound to support their parents by law.

Regular visits and emotional and financial support are the basis for repaying someone who raised you, don’t you think so?



TAG:

 

評分:0

我來說兩句

顯示全部

:loveliness: :handshake :victory: :funk: :time: :kiss: :call: :hug: :lol :'( :Q :L ;P :$ :P :o :@ :D :( :)

日曆

« 2017-11-21  
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  

數據統計

  • 訪問量: 4763
  • 日誌數: 20
  • 建立時間: 2016-09-07
  • 更新時間: 2017-11-07

RSS訂閱

Open Toolbar